Wednesday, April 23, 2008

I hate doubt

I hate feeling doubt and confusion. It seems to be invoking much internal anxiety for me, to have the surgery, to not have the surgery. Can we try to conceive without assistance? How long should we try without going back for assistance? What kind of assistance should we pursue? Is IVF the right choice? Is the cost not really worth the risk of failure? Can I handle another failed IVF? All of these questions are bouncing around in my brain all day and night. It makes me feel super emotional and its hard to function like this.

We went to look at an SUV for our son today, he's only 15yrs old but we are looking for a vehicle for him already. Unfortunately it was not in good shape like we hoped, we have time though. Buying a decent, reliable, safe vehicle is important to us as we don't want to worry anymore than necessary. Some people may think that that makes my son spoiled, but really buying him a vehicle is beneficial to us as parents also. I don't always have the time to do all the taxi driving that my children need. I cannot wait till he gets his full license.

My dearest daughter has recently gotten super motivated about dance due to the prospect of getting on pointe this summer. She has old pointe shoes from some girls at our studio and she plays around in her room with them. Now she has taken an interest in improving her skills and doing her own choreography and videoing it for herself. She's only 10 yrs old so its nice to see this level of maturity in her. We are also facing some typical pre-teen hormone stuff, moody, body development and changes. Its not fun so far, I never anticipated this with her as she has been so mellow her whole life. The poor men in our home, two hormonal ladies living with them...LOL

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My journey with family & age related secondary infertility