101st post and hope

Wow...I completely missed the fact that my last post was my 100th post...Yeah me!!!

Let me catch up...

We went on our vacation to Disney World, M & R each brought a cousin as a buddy. It ended up being a great idea, everyone had a partner. We arrived at our resort on Sun. the 28th, the cabins we stayed in were awesome, totally not what we expected or what would have been our 1st choice. It was the best option considering we had 4 kids between the ages of 11 - 15 with us. We started out in Hollywood Studios where the brave ones rode the Tower of Terror and The Rockin Rollercoaster, while we chickens (me & R) hung out and got ice cream and watched the Beauty and The Beast show. I was not feeling so well that day and night but assumed it was from being tired from getting ready for the trip. The I started with a fever, sore throat and congestion. Doped myself up with OTC meds and figured some sleep would help. The next day we went to Epcot, took turns with the rides and attractions making sure everyone had the chance to do and see the things they liked. Once again I felt crappy, feverish, sore throat, etc. Continued the OTC meds thinking it was a cold. The park stayed open 2 extra hours for resort guests, so after some amazing fireworks we were able to get on some more rides with little to no wait. The next morning I could not get up I felt sooo bad, high fever. After hubby took the kids shopping and exploring the grounds of the resort we decided I needed medically treatment. The resort recommended an urgent care clinic right off the property. We were fortunate to have a very short wait. The Dr. did a quick strep test as I had the bad bout of strep this summer, after ruling that out he determined I had bad sinus infection and wrote me a script for a Z - pack and told me to get the "good" Sudafed, the stuff you need a drivers license to buy. Pharmacy was connected to the clinic so we were able to get the script filled and get my Sudafed 12 hour stuff and we were off to get the kids. I took the meds and actually felt better within 30 mins, the "good" Sudafed helped right away. Magic Kingdom was open till 3am for resort guests so we had plenty of time for fun. They had the park decorated beautifully and we had a blast. Our next day, which was New Years eve was spent at Animal Kingdom and then we celebrated New Years with the kids at Planet Hollywood in Downtown Disney. Our original plan was to spend New Years in Magic Kingdom, but it was filled to capacity by early afternoon and they were not letting anyone else in....crazy huh. We would not have enjoyed the park with it being that crowded so our plans were perfect for us. By Thursday, our last day we spent it at Magic Kingdom, it was still packed but we had fun. We got on the road late, almost 11pm, it was a long hard drive but we arrived home safe and sound.

I know in my last post I mentioned how my sister-in-law prayed over my womb with hubby and myself. Since we have been home I have felt like I have had a hangover. I am exhausted, emotional and all the other signs of PMS. But I am now 2 days late. My uterus is not really crampy but has a constant low heavy achy feel to it. My back aches like crazy and my boobs are tender and fuller. I am on constant toilet paper check. I wimped out and did a HPT late Wed. night, it was negative, but my urine may not have been concentrated enough to register as I had been up watching tv drinking (Dr. Pepper) and peeing all the time. Now it has been so long since I have been pregnant I can't be sure if the symptoms I have are PMS or signs of early pregnancy. I am terrified of getting my hopes up, I would rather just start bleeding, be sad and move on. The constant wondering is messing with my head and heart. I keep feeling like I am about to start or I have started, then I go to the bathroom and nothing. I usually spot for about 2-4 days before my period kicks in full force, so far no spotting at all. I want so badly to have hope, to believe that this could really be it, that I could really be pregnant after all this time. How crazy would it be if after 2 straight years of fertility treatments and 1 year of trying on our own that the month after my sister-in-law prays over my womb that I could maybe be pregnant...and all without medical assistance. I am going to give it through Sat. if I haven't started by then I will take another HPT on Sun. morning. At this point all I can do is pray and hope for our New Year miracle.

Our crew with Donald Duck

Stressed to the max

Or should I say strep-ed to the max. Last Friday night the kids and I met some friends for Concert in the park, featuring The Veronica's, Kate Vogele and Natasha Bedingfield. We had a blast, it was the first concert for both of my kids. We will definitely make it a habit though. I felt great that night when I went to bed.......BAM woke up Sat. morning with a horrible sore throat and achy all over. Took Ibuprofen and Tylenol for the pain and sipped soup and slept the day away. Wake up Sunday and repeat, only this time feeling worse, could barely swallow and my throat looked like I was a reject from the sword swallowing act in the circus. I was so miserable that I barely slept Sun. night. My Mom came and took me to my Dr. as my hubby had to get R to school and he had to open the office since I was otherwise engaged.

My Primary Dr. was out so I had a sub, yep, it was like having a bad sub in school. He had no clue. They swabbed and took blood and told me my throat looked unremarkable......WTF, unremarkable for a Jackson Pollack maybe. He sent me on my way with the diagnosis of a possible virus and either "you will get better or worse". UH...Thanks!!! So I just begged my Mom to take me home, she hooked me up with water and OTC meds for pain and left me to try and sleep. Luckily since I homeschool M and he is 15 he was helpful. Fast forward through a miserable day .......3am I beg hubby to take me to the ER as I had begun to vomit (pretty huh). Thank God....the ER was empty and they got me back right away. They swabbed, took blood and got me started on IV fluids with some Toradol for pain and Fenegren for nausea. Didn't really help so we upped it to Morphine and Zofran for same. This time so relief, love me some Morphine. About this time test results start coming back, I have raging Strep Throat and its has progressed to my blood. Not good, but good that I came in. (Thanks Dr. from earlier in the day) They started me on IV antibiotics, Clindamycin as I am allergic to Amoxil and Sulfa drugs, and was also given a 2nd bag of fluids. We left about 7:30am with me feeling nice and drugged up and hydrated. OH....did I mention that my period also started on Sat.? Makes things even more fun, kinda like a bad carnival ride. I was able to sleep for the rest of the day and my prescription pain meds kept me mostly unconscious, just like I like it.

Tues. night not so good, I felt worse, reason being, my throat was so messed up I just could not swallow enough fluids to keep me hydrated, so off to the ER we go for another bag of fluids, some more nausea meds and then back home to sleep. Finally I was able to rest, take fluids orally on Wed. and had two full days of antibiotics in me.

Thurs. was my best day so far, I was actually able to eat solids and drink. My pain is down and I just feel really weak at this point.

To add to the stress of all this....this was M's exam week, normally I handle all of his schooling but hubby stepped in and took over for me. I am so blessed and the two of them managed to suck it up and get things done. Poor R, this is the week before recital and a girl needs her Mom to help her with hair and make-up for pictures. Luckily hubby stepped up and made sure both kids were taken care of. Some of the other Mom's helped R with her hair and make-up and she was ok with that. Usually I am on top of all this recital stuff so I feel kind of lost right now. Tomorrow is dress rehearsal so I am sure I will catch up on the details then. In the meantime M and I have to run errands tomorrow and pick up new ballet shoes, tights and last minute hair stuff. I think I am up for it, but I know I will be wiped out by tomorrow night. Not to mention my Ex, M & R's Dad is coming in town. It's great for them, but he never makes things easier for me, just more to juggle.

Now here it is, I am exhausted but I have slept so much this week that I can't sleep now. My noisy brain is in overdrive.

Random pic:

Bowling alley fun with M & R

Merry Christmas & I feel like crap

Here's hoping for a Merry Christmas for all....in the meantime I feel like crap. Why you ask? Well, I've decided to chalk it up to these dag-nabit bc pills. They make me feel bad, ill, sick, not sure how else to explain it. I never had a problem with the bc pills I took many years ago as a teen and into my 20's. These are a different brand, so I am not sure if it's due to the brand or if it has to due with my age and hormonal makeup at this point in my life.