101st post and hope

Wow...I completely missed the fact that my last post was my 100th post...Yeah me!!!

Let me catch up...

We went on our vacation to Disney World, M & R each brought a cousin as a buddy. It ended up being a great idea, everyone had a partner. We arrived at our resort on Sun. the 28th, the cabins we stayed in were awesome, totally not what we expected or what would have been our 1st choice. It was the best option considering we had 4 kids between the ages of 11 - 15 with us. We started out in Hollywood Studios where the brave ones rode the Tower of Terror and The Rockin Rollercoaster, while we chickens (me & R) hung out and got ice cream and watched the Beauty and The Beast show. I was not feeling so well that day and night but assumed it was from being tired from getting ready for the trip. The I started with a fever, sore throat and congestion. Doped myself up with OTC meds and figured some sleep would help. The next day we went to Epcot, took turns with the rides and attractions making sure everyone had the chance to do and see the things they liked. Once again I felt crappy, feverish, sore throat, etc. Continued the OTC meds thinking it was a cold. The park stayed open 2 extra hours for resort guests, so after some amazing fireworks we were able to get on some more rides with little to no wait. The next morning I could not get up I felt sooo bad, high fever. After hubby took the kids shopping and exploring the grounds of the resort we decided I needed medically treatment. The resort recommended an urgent care clinic right off the property. We were fortunate to have a very short wait. The Dr. did a quick strep test as I had the bad bout of strep this summer, after ruling that out he determined I had bad sinus infection and wrote me a script for a Z - pack and told me to get the "good" Sudafed, the stuff you need a drivers license to buy. Pharmacy was connected to the clinic so we were able to get the script filled and get my Sudafed 12 hour stuff and we were off to get the kids. I took the meds and actually felt better within 30 mins, the "good" Sudafed helped right away. Magic Kingdom was open till 3am for resort guests so we had plenty of time for fun. They had the park decorated beautifully and we had a blast. Our next day, which was New Years eve was spent at Animal Kingdom and then we celebrated New Years with the kids at Planet Hollywood in Downtown Disney. Our original plan was to spend New Years in Magic Kingdom, but it was filled to capacity by early afternoon and they were not letting anyone else in....crazy huh. We would not have enjoyed the park with it being that crowded so our plans were perfect for us. By Thursday, our last day we spent it at Magic Kingdom, it was still packed but we had fun. We got on the road late, almost 11pm, it was a long hard drive but we arrived home safe and sound.

I know in my last post I mentioned how my sister-in-law prayed over my womb with hubby and myself. Since we have been home I have felt like I have had a hangover. I am exhausted, emotional and all the other signs of PMS. But I am now 2 days late. My uterus is not really crampy but has a constant low heavy achy feel to it. My back aches like crazy and my boobs are tender and fuller. I am on constant toilet paper check. I wimped out and did a HPT late Wed. night, it was negative, but my urine may not have been concentrated enough to register as I had been up watching tv drinking (Dr. Pepper) and peeing all the time. Now it has been so long since I have been pregnant I can't be sure if the symptoms I have are PMS or signs of early pregnancy. I am terrified of getting my hopes up, I would rather just start bleeding, be sad and move on. The constant wondering is messing with my head and heart. I keep feeling like I am about to start or I have started, then I go to the bathroom and nothing. I usually spot for about 2-4 days before my period kicks in full force, so far no spotting at all. I want so badly to have hope, to believe that this could really be it, that I could really be pregnant after all this time. How crazy would it be if after 2 straight years of fertility treatments and 1 year of trying on our own that the month after my sister-in-law prays over my womb that I could maybe be pregnant...and all without medical assistance. I am going to give it through Sat. if I haven't started by then I will take another HPT on Sun. morning. At this point all I can do is pray and hope for our New Year miracle.

Our crew with Donald Duck