Nutcracker....

Nutcracker is over...now we can breathe and catch up on some much needed rest. If you have never been involved with the Theatre through some form of the Arts, well then you have no idea what you get yourself into by agreeing to participate in these extravaganza. We were non-stop from Friday afternoon till 1am on Sat night. Not to mention the fact that we had family in town for a total of 30 people for Thanksgiving dinner.
The performance was awesome, the kids were fantastic and the professional dancers were amazing. It was exhausting but worth it for all of us. My two children were so proud of themselves and their friends. I was especially proud of them when after the final show they both went up to the Director and shook his hand and thanked him for the opportunity to dance with his company. I think it showed great maturity and as I told them later, it never hurts to leave someone with a positive word and a favorable memory of you.
On a fertility note I think I am getting ready to ovulate. I have been keeping track of days and numbers for so long that I am not even sure if I am an early ovulator or if I am on schedule. I mean I am on a schedule just not sure who's schedule it is. All this mentrual, cervical mucous, egg, ovulation tracking, well it almost makes me look forward to the voluntary hell I am going to put myself through, at least then I wont have to keep up with anything more than how much bellyfat to pinch while my hubby gets to keep up with how much of the hormones I get injected into said bellyfat. Oh, and the other thing I am grateful for is no more physician prescribed sex, how weird is that, your RE knows when you are having sex. It's almost like having your kids or parents in the next room with ears pressed to the wall....LOL

I am boring...

I have been wanting to blog about all the infertility issues and treatment we have been facing this past year and just when I get the gumption to get this thing started.....Stop...we are in a holding pattern until Jan. So now what am I supposed to write about?

The kids have auditioned for and been accepted to perform in "The Nutcracker" with a professional ballet company. We are all super excited, this is such an awesome opportunity for the kids. The Director of the company has really noticed my son's abilities, who knows something could come of this. In the meantime with all the rehearsals and the making of costumes that the company did not have since younger children are included I have not had much time to think of our up-coming IVF. The issue of finances has pretty much been taken care of, at least for the initial cycle. I have accumulated most of the meds I need from past supper-ovulation cycles and hubby (without my knowledge, which is cool) has managed to sock away money this whole year in case it came to this (IVF). The only thing left for me to worry about is the wishy washy feelings I get when I think about IVF. I really want a baby, but then doubt creeps in and whispers in my ear. Do I really want to start all over ( my kids are 14 & 10), do I want to deal with all the hard work that comes with raising another child? I mean, I really have it good right now. My kids are independent and don't require my constant attention. They can dress and feed themselves. I don' t have to change diapers, wake up in the middle of the night on a regular basis. I am assuming my wishy washy state is normal....right?

I am blank

Right now I am blank...meaning I can't think of anything of interest to write about. As far as infertility stuff goes we are in a holding pattern. Since I am obviously not pregnant right now, or at least I don't think I am and refuse to even entertain the thought since it usually leads to disappointment. So onto other things....at this time my two kids are busy rehearsing for a Nutcracker performance at the end of this month. If you have ever been involved in one of these you understand the crazy chaos that this creates. But, it was good fun and an exceptional experience. This year will be the 1st year my kids have the opportunity to dance with a professional ballet company...super exciting.

I started

Yep, I started and obviously it was not for the Red Sox. My period started this month, and I blame my dear loving husband for this. Why you ask? Well, he went out of town, to Maine to be exact, and well it's a little far for us to procreate from Maine to Georgia. Therefore I went through the prime of my montly cycle all alone, with my eggs whining about the lack of attention. So what does mean you ask? Well, it means that we can try all by ourselves again this month. I did receive my letter from my RE with instructions. I am supposed to call their office when I start my period in December. I guess he is going to put me on the pill at that point...I know it sounds crazy but who am I to argue with that six figure education he has. From that point on it gets really confusing and hazy. If I understood correctly, and obviously I didn't otherwise I wouldn't be in this fog....anyway, he will be using the BC pills to control my cycle and I guess I will be monitored in January 2008 so that he can cram me full of meds in February. I have probably stated this in previous, but as this is all I have to go on, I have decided it bears repeating.
In other news, the family is fine. We are busy as usual with Dance, the kids auditioned for a production of the Nutcracker ( which I love!!!) with the Columbia Classical Ballet out of South Carolina. Hopefully we will get word in the next few days.

Our journey

I have tried to start the description of the journey we are on numerous times, and well for one reason or another I have yet to find a home for my thoughts and musings. I got re-married last Oct 2006, I was a single Mom to 2 kids for 7 years. I truly never had any intention of dating again, let alone re-marrying. My wonderful husband has no biological children of his own although he loves my two as they were his. Very early into the relationship having a child together was discussed and determined to be something we both wanted We tried naturally for over a year ( un-married sinners that we were), and finally got pregnant in January 2005. It ended up being a corneal pregnancy without real fetal development Corneal pregnancies attach themselves in the corneal section of the uterus, which is the entry point where the fallopian tubes meet the uterus. Needless to say I had to have a D&C. It took a while for my body to return to normal and in June 2005 we were given the green-light from my OB/GYN. Nothing happened so in December of 2005 my OB Dr. referred me to a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE). I saw him for the first time in January 2006. After determining that although I was healthy I was a crusty old 39 yrs old with a 40th B-day right around the corner.
We decided with the RE's advice that we try Super Ovulation. Ta-Da!!! On that note I will stop and continue this another day, or night as I am plagued by insomnia at the moment

In the beginning

In the beginning....wait! I am 40 yrs into this thing called life. I have a noisy brain and writing helps quiet the beast. Have been wanting to start something like this for awhile, tried myspace and love it for various reasons, but I have too many of my kids friends as my friends. And well some of what I may write about is not for the teen set. So here goes....

1)I am a 40 yr old Mother of two, getting ready to celebrate my first weddng anniversary with my second husband.

2)We are trying to conceive a child together and so far it is not going very well (more on this later).

3) My dear sweet husband and I work together and amazingly enough it works for us.

4)I am the oldest of 4 children, therefore I like to be the boss.

5)My first marriage failed for various reasons (but mainly we failed each other and our kids)

6)I said I would never get married again (Happy almost 1st Anniversary honey..Oct14)

7)I have an exceptional relationship with both my 14yr old son and 10yr old daughter....ask me again why I want to start over by getting pregnant at 40.

8)I have to have some sort of light on when I go to sleep (nightlight, bathroom light, etc)

9)I am a smoker who doesn't smoke (cause I want to get preggo)

10)I love to read

11)I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up besides be a Mom, never had a really driven career path for myself

12)I talk to my Mom at least once a day.

13)I rarely speak to my Father, let alone know where he is

14)I have battled depression since I was 14 yrs old (have been winning the battle for the past 3 years)

15)I am an insomniac, due to the noisy brain

Okay, so the Tylenol PM is kicking in and that means that the longer I type the more likely this blog will look like my dog wrote it.