Spitting stitches

That's me, professional stitch spitter. Sounds nasty, it is. All 4 of my incisions are "spitting stitches" in English, my body is rejecting the stitches that were place internally and so they are working their way to the surface of the incisions and coming out of my skin. It is not painful, a little irritating, but mostly disturbing and annoying. This is a 1st for me, although I don't know why I am surprised. Weird things happen to me. Weirder .... I think that the pain I am still experiencing at my right side where my tube was removed, I am wondering if the stitches used to close up the outside of my uterus are not dissolving either. Could that be why I am in pain? It might sound crazy but I know my body, I was right when it came to the SIN, I knew something was there even if all the previous tests told otherwise. I've been putting off calling the Dr., I guess I can't wait any longer, even my Mom is concerned. I have no signs of infection, everything points to healing...except for the "spitting stitches" and the continued pain where my right tube was.



I have been acutely feeling my infertility since this past weekend. Probably because my young nieces and nephews were among our July 4th revelers. I so enjoy them and as much as I love the stages that my 2 children are at, I miss little ones. My emotions have been on a slow up/down, nothing radical, I go from believing that we will conceive one minute to feeling like it will never happen. Living with no guarantee is difficult, but it just seems like infertility is kicking my emotional butt right now. I am a fight to the death kind of person. I don't give up. I just don't think I know how to let go of the baby I want to conceive. I feel like the pain of letting go is more akin to giving up and I just can't, my heart wont let me. In the meantime I can't deal with crushing defeat anymore either. I am almost afraid that I will push myself past the point of sanity and keep trying because I don't know how to stop and let go. I have read so many blogs lately that have inspired me to hope and believe it can happen for us too. Flip side - I get anxious that it wont happen for us. I love surprises, a surprise baby would be nice.