2WW continued.....

We are a few days into our 2 week wait, not a lot to report. I am tired, I am crampy on and off throughout the day, but it does seem to get worse towards the end of the day. Any number of reasons could explain why. I am still feeling calm, unusually calm. I think a large part of that is the nightly PIO injections with a small role played by the reality that it is truly not in my control. I mean as long as I take it easy, take care of myself and follow Dr.'s orders than its out of my hands. I am aware of the passage of time and how it affects this process and when we can test for pregnancy, but I am not dwelling on it. It's like I can't muster the energy to worry, maybe that is a good thing at this point. We shared our struggles with family and many friends over this past year as we have tried to conceive and now as we edge closer to success we feel very fortunate that everyone has been so excited for the possibility of this IVF working. Everyone wants to know when we will know if we are pregnant, and the really good friends are excited yet concerned that I don't get my heart crushed in the event that this does not work. My thoughts on the next step for us should this IVF fail, well they run the gamut. On one hand nothing, no medicine, no procedure has been so difficult to tolerate that it would prevent me or dissuade me from repeating this process again. It's the emotional aspect that affects my thoughts. One minute I think I could not put myself through this again, mostly due to the disappointment but also due to my age. Other times I just cannot bear to end my child-bearing life on a note of failure. Failure is not an option for me, I hate failing. You can see the conundrum here, IVF has no guarantees, it's all risk and if your not a big gambler than the stakes of repeated failure may be too hard for you. I have yet to determine how much of my heart I am willing to gamble.